Weight of the world

Question? Do you know what it’s like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders? If you’re like me it’s normal for you. Let’s start at the beginning growing up I was always good at everything starting with school then sports then socially I thrived.My mother was a single mother raising two children she tried her best  because of my father missing I had to pick up the slack by working from the age of 14 to 18 at good ol Braums restaurant just so we could have a somewhat normal life. I hated that job but I knew my mother needed help but it wasn’t the job I hated it was the management it was a mean old lady but I stuck it out but enough about that.Sometimes in life you’re great at something for me that something was football. My family had always had high expectations of me being the oldest but not only for being the oldest but because of the bar I already set my self without knowing. As I got older the bar got higher I was pretty much done with high school my senior year in school , so I took concurrent college classes to get them out the way before I went to college by this time I was already expected to go to a certain college. Everyone one knew but I didn’t go right away I went to a different college to enhance my craft so to speak and to recover from a  senior year injury. Something happened that following year my father passed away and for me for the first time ever i had no love for the game. It changed me, it rocked me to my core. What I forgot to mention was how many people were expecting something from me from free gear from this college, meeting  other players  to teaching  their son or sons to play the position I play the list goes on every where I went it’s we are counting on you and it kept growing. In the movies they always show the glamorous side of the sports story never the bad I had starting feeling bitter like I don’t owe anybody anything and I don’t give an flip about football. I gave up I stopped caring about my grades, football, girlfriend pretty much all of it. As if things couldn’t get worse,  I got released from college and then comes the the mockery the reticule when I returned home. The question everyone wants answered”what happened ?” The smug comments he used to be great , I once went 
to eat at an old favorite place of mine and openly I heard this older man call out my name and say at one point and time he was going places now look at him. Nothing and I mean nothing makes you feel more low when most everyone from a town you called home is bashing you because for once I didn’t
Have the weight of the world riding on my shoulders. No expectations or anything. A part of me liked it but because I was so used to it growing up I needed it  I craved it but being older now I realized just how hurtful this whole experience was. My hope is that someone with a similar story reads this post realizes it doesn’t
Have to be all on you , you don’t owe anybody in this life take some time to figure out who you are without sports and grow life is short make it count when you made sports your whole life it’s real hard to find yourself after it’s said and done. Lift that weight of the world off your shoulders and find that balance. To quote a famous actor Paul Rudd “when life hands you lemons just say F the lemons and bail”